Recently inspired by two of my newly single friends participating in online dating, I thought I’d compose a little sumthin for all my single ladies. Here are five products you can use as soon as you realize the dude is a dandy or a dud.
If he’s a luvah: Place a dot on your tongue making the proceeding convo…you guessed it…like a breath of fresh air.
If he’s a loser: I’m not recommending you put some in a rude boy’s eyes, because you know, I’d never suggest something like that.
If he’s a luvah: Apply it to the bridge of your nose and cheekbones for a healthy shimmer.
If he’s a loser: Well,if you put enough of this on the corners of your eyes, you can fake conjunctivitis.
If he’s a luvah: Get touchable-looking hair and mask split ends if you haven’t seen your salon since it saw you.
If he’s a loser: Two words…faux drool.
If he’s a luvah: Though the my-lip-gloss-is-poppin look is cool, take the sex appeal down a thousand: blot liberally.
If he’s a loser: Coral is the hotter-than-hot color of the season. Why not smear it on your teeth? Take that, Mr. Big Ego.
If he’s a luvah:Let your lashes go wild as he tells you a fascinating story.
If he’s a loser: Give yourself a makeshift moustache. Right there at the table.
Though I am beyond over the ironic, oversized geeky glasses look, they could come in handy if he turns out to be a toolbag. Sport these Aviators to distract him from your perpetual eye rolling.